The topic actually uses the word sex, which is not the same thing as gender. Sex and gender are not the same so I’m going to assume they probably meant gender rather than sex. That being said, I have my choice now to either pick on the opposite gender from myself (males) or pick on my own variant of the species (females). Considering I live with two male of their species I’d like to avoid picking a fight with them so I will pick on my own kind.

I say my own kind somewhat tongue in cheek because, pretty much from birth, I’ve been and always have been what my father lovingly referred to as a “Tom Boy”. I have always and probably always will relate better to men than to women. I’ve always worked in a field dominated by men. That’s not to say that it isn’t just as easy to define five things that irritate me about men. It’s just easier and at this point in my life to pick on women. The following is my list and reasonings why. (Beware, there are quite a few gender-related generalizations below. As with all things social, they are just generalizations and not intended to fit every individual.)

1. Makeup
Most women wear makeup. There’s nothing wrong with that. Most women look and feel much better when they wear makeup. That’s great for them. There is a small percentage of the female gender, however, who do not like and do not look or feel better when they wear makeup. It would be nice if the rest of the female gender would respect my right not to smother my face with cheap cosmetics which make me look like a three dollar hooker. I look better without it. Just trust me on that small fact, please. I’ve gotten to be this age without it just fine and trust me when I say I’ve tried it and it looks terrible. Another make-over by you really isn’t going to change the facts. Thank you for being willing to use me as a guinea pig, though. It was a very nice gesture.

2. Purses
In the US, most women carry a purse. I have absolutely no doubt that, if I had, at some point, become a mother, I probably would have found the necessity of carrying, at the very least, a diaper bag. In my life, however, I have never found the necessity of carrying a purse. I almost always carry a wallet, of course, but I find another method of taking that with me, either in a pocket or perhaps a book bag or briefcase or more likely, in my climate, a coat pocket. I haven’t ever required a purse. I have no desire to carry makeup, which I also don’t need, everywhere I go. Tylenol, Midol, bandages and other various pharmaceutical needs can be easily, quickly and readily purchased at any one of a thousand drug stores which are conveniently located across the street from almost everywhere in the US. Although I’m sure the value of carrying a Coach purse brings an undefinable joy to the hearts of most women, it really doesn’t do a thing for me. I’m happy for you when you win one at a bingo game. Good for you. Please don’t judge my reluctance to carry the kitchen sink with me everywhere in life as a weakness on my part. Men don’t carry a purse and we don’t think less of them.

3. Directions
When I say directions, I mean getting directions when one becomes lost in unfamiliar territory. Women tend to give up far too easily and stop to ask for directions quite quickly when they find themselves “lost” while the opposite could be said of the male gender never giving up to ask someone else for assistance. There is a happy medium of intelligent people who don’t use other people in this world as a “Help Center” for the directionally-challenged. There’s a time and place to ask someone else for directions. There are, however, a myriad of methods, maps, for instance, which can assist in this regard. Often taking the time to stop and think logically before proceeding offers much more consistent and better results than asking other humans to assist. It is also often a faster solution as well.

4. Gossip
While both genders can be accused of gossiping, I have found that women tend to gossip more than men. In my view, it’s a form of bullying and it can become contagious. It creates a toxic atmosphere in which people are attempting to survive, to thrive, to live and work. Just let people be who they are without your intervention because they will anyway. Gossip has never served a useful purpose except to raise one person, psychologically, over another in other people’s view. It actually does the opposite. Gossiping makes the gossiper look foolish and petty and lowers that person in my eyes. Gossip led the witch trials in Salem. It can be a dangerous thing, so just stop it. Nothing will make me distrust someone, male or female, faster than listening to them gossip about other people. I know that the minute I walk away from their presence that their tongue will be filled with vicious talk about me. I don’t trust a gossip any further than I can throw them.

5. Unfair Comparisons
Women tend to compare themselves and other women to each other. It doesn’t matter what measuring stick they use, they still compare. It can be intelligence, beauty, fertility, mothering, compassion, or financial stability. The list of comparison markers is endless. It’s a fruitless folly. It’s a lot like comparing yourself to Barbie. You are doomed to be disappointed. It will get you nowhere and only mess other women up in your mind. Stop yourself and instead, think of yourself and other women as snowflakes. Each one is as different as the next. Though we are all the same gender, there are so many various qualities and potential areas of difference that it doesn’t matter how one is different, uniquely, from the others. What matters is that individually and together, we are all beautiful in our own unique way. Together we can sparkle in the sunlight and nurture the world around us, like a crystalline blanket of snow.

Women, you may now proceed to hate me, if you wish.

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